if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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