I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize