But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
