So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
