I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
