Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
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When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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