i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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