Are we in a gay sports bar?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
