I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
