when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i think my cat just said my name.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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