Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
