I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
