member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
