Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
wow bdsm is so cute
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
