new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
