Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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