If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize