If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
ttyl tear gas
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
