I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
