she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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