Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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