Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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