Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
