she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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