Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
