hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
