so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
