One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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