Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You made out with two different species that night
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
