If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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