Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
