College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
