I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
