he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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