My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
