I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
