It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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