haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wear drunk well.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize