I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
