she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
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Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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