We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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