Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
