My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
