Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
