Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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