i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
