"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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