i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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