Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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