I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
