never play flip cup with pint glasses
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
