I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Drake has all the answers
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
