I'm lost and stupid without you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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