I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
