Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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