i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We were destined to go to rehab together
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize