cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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