I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
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How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize