Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
