It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
