he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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