Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
