please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
