I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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