you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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