So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
