You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
