I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
